Is Our Marriage Boring? An Introvert and an Extrovert Answer Honestly
Many more years with the same person. Exciting, or boring? Milan says our marriage has never been boring a single day. Pim says it sometimes is.
Pim grew up in a house where family and friends walked in unannounced. Milan grew up spending the same two weeks at the same holiday spot ten years in a row, and booking visits six weeks ahead.
In this episode we talk honestly about what happens when an extrovert who needs sparkle marries an introvert who needs quiet: the lawnmower birthday present, dancing in the kitchen (for about 30 seconds), daily couch talks, the "write down 10 things you appreciate about me" date, and why Valentine's flowers never worked on Pim.
And the sentence Milan heard at a dinner table a decade ago and never forgot: "If you think your marriage is boring, guess what? You're the boring one."
Timestamps:
00:00 Preview
00:38 Welcome to HumanUp
01:03 30 more years with the same person: is it boring?
02:17 Why Milan is never bored (Pim never cooks the same dish twice)
03:02 Two childhoods: the same holiday spot for 10 years vs. a house full of visitors
04:53 Small talk vs. "What's the meaning of life?"
06:17 The lawnmower birthday present
07:15 Dancing in the kitchen: inviting instead of blaming
08:00 Six weeks' notice vs. "I brought fruit, I'm coming over"
08:50 The introvert recharge: 5 AM and 11 PM
11:15 Take ownership of the spark you need
11:43 Five minutes of reading after a long day
13:24 Separating our roles: parents, co-founders, husband and wife
14:20 Date nights, couch talks and the 10-things exercise
16:00 "How to bring peace to the Middle East": curiosity at dinner
17:08 The antidote to boredom in marriage
17:23 "If you think your marriage is boring, you're the boring one"
19:22 When boredom points to something missing in you
20:13 Post-it notes vs. Valentine's flowers
22:24 Takeaways: curiosity, ownership and love as a daily choice
Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033x1b220jvbyrfnyUQJjr
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